Friday, September 24, 2010

The Visit (Get comfy kids, this is long)

OK, before I start, let me preface this post by saying I love Nick's parents. They are Aaron's Grandparents, too and us getting along is important. And not easy, given we are SO different. Also...this visit was the 1st time they have seen Aaron since he was 4. Last time we went to them (like every time) in March 2005, I believe.

Some history:

When Aaron was born, we decided that since we were in different states, we would rotate Christmases w/ Nick's parents, every other yr. Being that Christmas is also Aaron's bday...it's an even bigger deal. When Aaron was born, we called Nick's parents the night I went into labor (Christmas Eve) and told them, I was in labor...baby (their FIRST grandchild) would be born sometime Christmas afternoon...and we would love to see you. Please come. They were unable to make it, despite being off for 5 days and despite living, what...4 hours away, in Ft Lauderdale. That set the tone for me. Nick's Dad and sister, Vicky came to see Aaron when he was 5 days old. His Mother finally managed to make the trip 4 weeks later. Nick's older sister, Kristin, living in Atlanta never made it to see him. And finally met her first and only nephew when we went to New Orleans for Aaron's 1st bday/Christmas. Let it be noted we travelled on Christmas Eve w/ a 12 month old, in snow @ 5am. Hellish flight, story for another time.

We didn't see the family for 6 more months, until we went to Wisconsin from Detroit to meet up w/ them, see Nick's extended family and let them meet our sweet boy. It was an overall great trip...despite travelling w/ a tired 18 month old. We were able to get "4 Generation" pictures w/ Aaron, Nick, His Mom, Dad, and each of Nick's Grandmas - Grandma Pfarr, and Grandma Mimi who was on Hospice. This was an 8 hour trip each way, with a barely toddler.

4 days later, we get the dreaded call...Grandma Mimi passed away that morning. Funeral in 2 days. Nick went, Aaron and I did not. Here starts the rift w/ older sister, Kristin. She felt it was selfish not to bring Aaron to a funeral b/c it would cheer everyone up. And she missed her nephew. Guess what chick...you know where we live. Atlanta to Detroit is not far. And that was not a fun trip w/ a little one, even under happy circumstances. I stand by my decision, that it was the right thing to do. It would be a 48 hr whirlwind trip, w/ an 18 month old, stuck in a hotel while they are at viewings, burial, memorial, etc.

That December we stayed in Detroit w/ my family for Christmas, as scheduled...but, the next yr, we did not go to his parents, either. After 18 months of rude comments and bratty behavior, Nick didn't want to go to New Orleans and be stuck w/ his rude sister any more than I did. So, we opted to go in Jan instead, for Nick's Birthday. We did go the next Christmas for Aaron's 4th bday/Christmas (older sister was there, we faked nice, it was totally fine) and then again that March 2005. Last time we saw his parents and little sister, Vicky. The 5 yrs since then have been w/ very little communication..ssporadic Birthday calls/cards, etc. Nick's sister grew more angry for many reasons and really poisoned the relationship between Nick and Aaron and Nick's parents. I could go on for days w/ examples but it's not worth it, and I just wanted to give some of the back story before their visit.

In late July, Nick's Dad calls and asks Nick when a good time for a visit is, b/c he and Nick's Mom "are thinking" they might come out this way. Nick tells him our vague schedule, Aaron's school and baseball schedule and waits for confirmation. They're coming out in September...14-19, they will get their own hotel. See ya then. Even the days up to the visit annoyed me b/c there was SUCH little communication. No info on what they wanted to do or see. No info on their flight/hotel itinerary even. For a control freak planner...this was irksome. We suggested great things like a day in San Fran, night @ Lake Tahoe, etc. Too far, too cold.

Their trip was OK. Sterile, formal, odd, aggravating. They are not lovey, huggy, "I love you" people. I get that and respect that. But, their standoffishness w/ even their own kids/grand kid has always bothered me. We planned day trips w/ Nick and I when Aaron was in school, we could go anywhere as long as we left in time to go get Aaron. His Mom is the slowest human on the PLANET. With no regard for time or my schedule. I do like her...quite a bit. She's totally innocuous...but, come ON lady...pick it up, would ya? I hate to be the "hurry up, let's go", person but, we told them about our need to leave Virginia City by 1:30 before we even left. 1:45 his Mom is missing. She has slipped into some random shop and won't answer her phone. And apparently forgot how to tell time. How sad. But, I sure learned my lesson, next 2 days I made sure they ate breakfast before we even met up w/ them and gave our leave time an hour before we actually had to leave.

Here's how it broke down:
Tuesday - They fly in, go to hotel and we meet them down the road for Chinese, after we get Aaron from school, before his game. That was Aaron's 1st game for Fall Ball...they were there and very sweet and patient. And quiet. It's OK, I cheer loud enough for at least 10 ppl. I did super appreciate them going...we were @ the fields from 5thirty - 9. After a long day of travelling and being on Central time, they were great sports.

Wednesday - We drop Aaron at school and meet them for Breakfast @ 9. Our plan was to go downtown, see the Truckee River, see the famous "biggest little city" sign, walk around and see the shops, casinos and that's it. Easy first day. Breakfast took forever. We only had about 3 hrs downtown and w/ slow walking, and having to stop in every "5 shirts for 10 bucks" shop, we didn't get to see too terribly much. They opted to stay in @ the hotel that night since Nick worked...and didn't come see Aaron at the house like I suggested.

Thursday - Virginia City...slow breakfast again, didn't get on the road til 10thirty. A tad ridiculous. Also the last family breakfast :) The slow, boring Virgina City debacle begins...this city is OLD, and FABULOUS and  Historic and they didn't want to go in 1 museum or on 1 tour. Oy vey. Had to leave @ 1thirty b/c it's about a 45 minute drive down w/ construction and I was helping in Aaron's class @ 2:30. Get there 5 mins late, with Nick SPEEDING and said they should go to the house, get Aaron's uniform for that night's game,  and I'll be done and have Aaron @ 3:15. At 3:30 they show up...without Aaron's uniform b/c his Mom decided she had to go to a yarn store across town. With her spare 45 minutes. Really, you couldn't do that last night when you weren't spending time w/ your Grandson? Just wondering. We had to rush to eat (we gave them 5 or 6 exclusive to Reno/West Coast options and his Mom chose...Olive Garden. Their's is about an hour away. Sigh.), then back to the house to get Aaron's uniform. He had a wonderful game and his Grandpa Bob was actually quite impressed. I think Grandma might have fallen asleep. We part ways.

Friday - Ate separate breakfasts again (yay) and went up to Tahoe. Which by the way is one of the most spectacular things I have ever seen in person. It's on par w/ the Grand Canyon. Yawn, yeah big whoop...take some pics, where's the shops? Seriously. (sidenote: i did get some adorable flip flops for $2.50 so it wasn't a total loss)...The perk of this day was Grandma wanted to have Margaritas and Bloody Marys lakeside. Yes please. That covered lunch. Rushed to get Aaron, went to Claimjumper (they don't have those on the East Coast). Nick worked @ 6, I convinced his parents to take it easy, and we would meet up early the next day for a cookout and watch the Wisconsin game. I needed a break, biting my tongue was getting harder.

Saturday - They came over about 9thirty AM, we hung out, they helped some while Nick and I cooked. My Dad came down and spent time w/ them, we had a great day, got wonderful "3 Generation" pictures, w/ my parents, Nick's parents and Aaron. Wisconsin won, Nick worked at 2 and they stayed until about 6.

Sunday - Met them @ 8AM, said goodbye. Went home and took a nap.

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